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Anxiogenic Vapor
Love's deep and shoreless sea 
11 19 12
I have a problem: I think I'm starting to fall for Alden. After watching Repulsion on Friday night, we cuddled on his bed, and I said, "Tell me a secret." After a while, he spoke. "I spent most of 2007 in a hospital. I wasn't happy, and I just couldn't...be here." He told me, "My memory is all over the map. I remember stupid little details of life. But I don't remember people. Important things." That memory is sensory, and of his childhood, he'll suddenly remember, "The certain way the grass smelled at Grandma's house. Oh, yeah." And we're not aware of it at the time, it's not what we were consciously remembering, but later it can be the memory. He said, "In the hospital they gave me electroshock therapy. There was a waiting room with magazines, and it's weird, we were all sitting there, looking at each other, waiting to get the shit blasted out of our brains. And I know it sounds silly, but that was one of the few times I think I might have fallen in love. In that waiting room. There was a girl there. We would exchange these loaded, meaningful glances with each other. I had seven sessions, and we saw each other seven times. We didn't speak; that would have ruined it. She had these really bright green eyes. I couldn't get over those eyes."
12 28 12 (UTC)
I've had those waiting room meetings too. Strange being with people you don't know but can relate to, experiencing similar illnesses and treatments.
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